I Know the Pressure of Being a Doctor. Motherhood Is Something Else.

NYT OPINION: I Know the Pressure of Being a Doctor. Motherhood Is Something Else.
By Daniela J. Lamas
Section: Opinion
Source: New York Times
Published Date: May 13, 2023 at 03:00AM

A new mother squares her expectations with the reality of having a baby.

It should be the easiest, most natural thing in the world. Or so it seems. But here I am, home from the hospital and my newborn daughter is struggling to eat. Her movements are frantic. She gnaws at my chest, my lip, even my nose, desperate for milk. Who knew that something so small could be so strong? We try again. When her forehead furrows and she pouts her lip and begins to wail, it is all I can do not to join her. I am her mother, she is helpless and hungry, and I don’t have enough milk to satisfy her. For all the talk and preparation for the challenges of pregnancy and childbirth, the most fraught aspect comes after. The question of how we feed our newborns is rife with judgment and has been for generations, with expectations that get to the core of what society expects from mothers — and what I expected from myself. Though I assumed that breastfeeding would come “naturally,” I suppose nothing about the process of becoming a mother was natural. For years, I had wondered whether I should have a child. Though my life was comfortable and full without one, with a partner and jobs on two coasts, I feared the regret I might feel if I never took the chance to know what it was to love someone so small and so sweet.

Read more at: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/13/opinion/motherhood-breastfeeding.html